The 45 yr. old man approached me to discuss some difficulties he was having. His opening statements was, "I am having a mid-life crisis!" He and his wife had been married for 23 yrs. and he began relating how their relationship had changed and felt very unfulfilled. In his final statement he said, "I really don't love her anymore! Am I free to move on with my life and be happy? I'm not happy." I realized what he wanted to know from his last question and statement. I replied, "Is she in Christ?" He responded quietly, "Yes." I stated, "She is also your sister in Christ. Would you love her as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her?" (Eph. 5:25) He winched. I could tell he didn't want to hear that. "That's so hard! I'm not sure you understand." I asked, "Would you love her as a sister in Christ?" He looked down. "Why are you making things so difficult for me?" I spoke again, "If you don't love her as your wife or won't love her as your sister, would you love her as your enemy and pray for her?" (Matt. 5:44-45) Silence now ruled. His unhappiness was tied to his love for the Lord and commitment to His love not his wife.
So often married couples say they have "fallen out of love for one another." A Christian in the true sense concerns themselves with the will of God. God's will is to love on every level! The world speaks loudly, "Leave your mate, find another so you can be happy and get on with your life!" Many accept this teaching. God speaks for the Christian husband to love his wife just as Christ loves the church. We, the church, aren't the loveliest of people sometimes are we? What if Christ said, "I just don't love you anymore!"? Jesus speaks to the Christian wife to love and respect her husband (Titus 2:4). These aren't suggestions by God, they are commands. Love is a choice. It's a sacrificial love that seeks the highest good of another more than itself. It's the love that He loved us with. (Eph. 5:2)
Why do people fall "out of" love with one another? Because they refuse to practice the love of God. The one that does not love does not know God which places them in death (I John 3:14). Dead people cannot love. When a husband or wife finds themselves struggling with one another, if they would look to Christ, put on Christ Jesus and start walking in His love, they will find the very love they were missing and desiring all those years. True happiness will be the result. If one refuses to practice the love of God for their mate, their lives will head down a path of more and more frustrations with one another, more defeats and struggles and eventually death will consume them and bury their lives. God's ways are always the best and righteous. Which way are you headed?
1 comment:
Christ at the center of a marriage makes everything much more peaceful and fulfilling. It's when Christ isn't the center of our thinking that we run into trouble. And Satan is looking for exactly those circumstances to swoop in and ruin lives.
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