"I Don't Love Her Anymore!"

  He was 45 yrs. of age and shared that he was having 'a mid-life crisis.' He and his wife have been married for 23 yrs. and he began relating how their relationship had changed over the years. He felt completely unfulfilled in the marriage! The words came out but they were difficult for him to say. "I just don't love her anymore!" Have you ever been in this mode of thinking? I have heard this many many times over the years in dealing with couples and it is more common than you think. Let's listen to the rest of the conversation:

"I just don't love her anymore! Am I free to move on with my life and be happy?" I asked: "Is she in Christ Jesus?" He responded: "Yes." I stated: "That means she is your sister in Christ as well. Would you love her as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her?" (Eph. 5:25) He leaned back in his chair and said: "That's so hard." I asked: "Would you love her as a sister in Christ?" His eyes looked away while he spoke: "Why are you making things more difficult for me?" I replied: "If you don't love her anymore, and you see her as an enemy, would you love her as an enemy and pray for her?" (Matt. 5:44-45) Silence ruled the conversation. Everything became evident that his unhappiness was not her and the marriage but the result of his lacking a relationship with the Lord Jesus! How sin blinds.

  Too many today are speaking they have fallen out of love. Marriages can be difficult but the Lord provides for us a way to overcome if we would apply faith in our lives according to His standard. A child of God concerns themselves with the will of God. God's will is to love on every level. True love isn't an emotional state that comes and goes. True God centered love is a choice we make, a dedication to the best interest of another that sacrifices for them. When we read I Cor. 13, called the love chapter by many, every aspect of love is a verb which means it is an action of choice. Go ahead and read it right now and look closely at what is attached to this idea of love. The lost around us speaks loudly, "If you are unhappy in your marriage, get out of it and find someone you can be happy with. Find your soul-mate!" I've never heard the term soul-mate used in God's word! God speaks for His children to love their mate. It's the identical love that Jesus loved us with in giving His life for us. (Eph. 5:2)

  Why do people fall "out of" love with their mate? Because they fail to practice love in their life! John spoke that the one who does not love does not know God and lives their life in death (I John 3:14). When a couple finds themselves struggling with one another, feelings for one another starts to diminish, what should they do? LOVE as Christ loved. When one chooses to love they will find the love they were missing and the emptiness will be filled with Christ. It's rather simple but very powerful. If one refuses to practice God's love for their mate, their lives will head downward with more struggles and eventually spiritual defeat. One thing we are assured of: "Love never fails!" (I Cor. 13:8) One can't find happiness and fulfillment without following the Lord and choosing to love. 

"A Word About the Love of God"

 Peter speaks of the prophets who prophesied of God's grace to come how they didn't know everything as it was not revealed (I Pet. 1:10-12). In all this coming grace of God the angels stood looking at this  loving grace and the salvation that came with it. To them, it was a sight to behold.

  Maybe it was something like this as God was creating:

     "What's that place you're making?"  God responds, "One day it will be called Judea!"

     "What will go in that mountainous area?" God responds, "That's called Jerusalem!"

   "What's that hill just outside the place you called Jerusalem?" God responds, "That's              called Golgotha! That's the place where I will die to save the human race I created!

      And the angelic voices go silent.

  From creation to the day Jesus Christ died, the whole journey was about traveling toward death. God knew it as He planned it. It's mind-boggling to try to understand. But there was a dedicated love and mercy wrapped up into one Man, the man Christ Jesus. Everything of God was poured into His Son because of His devotion.

  We don't seem to know much about this love. We try to explain it but it's beyond our ability but we do try. Paul said it rightly when he penned, "And to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge." (Eph. 3:19) The love of God is beyond our knowing through our senses of how precious it is. If we grasped it, there wouldn't be all this strife, hateful and self-righteous attitudes floating around. We can speak fluently at time about this grace and love and the words can come from us, "I sure love you brother/sister!" Then the very ones we speak we love disagrees with us or we with them and wham, the love we had in our very spiritual moment is gone! God's not like that. The angels are longing to see it.

  If we had some real understanding of how God loves us in Christ, we could gain more of letting Him fill us to His fullness (Eph. 3:19). We would be loving God back and carried away with His purpose even when those disagree with us! When Paul was taken captive by the love of God in Christ, he went to a world spreading the good news where he could and it cost him dearly. In all, Paul, Timothy and Silas could speak: "For the love of Christ controls us..." (II Cor. 5:14) I need to see and understand that better, don't you? We need the love of God compelling us in our daily living and worship, don't we? 

  

    

"God's Holy Ground"

  When Moses encountered that burning bush in the desert (Ex. 3) there was more going on than a story we read over quickly. God was revealing His character and power in the presence of man. This encounter with man's Creator was teaching to get those sandals off, go barefoot as the ground on which he was standing was holy but not by the bush but by the presence of God Himself. 

  This bush was burning without being consumed because God needs no external help from us. The fire of God did not have to draw from the surroundings of the bush to exist! The wood of the bush was not the source. Here was the Almighty revealing that He depends on no one for His existence, who isn't kept alive by the power or strength of His servants or worshipers. That's a lesson we need to learn. God wants to be with us but we are the ones in need of Him and it is only by His power that we exist and move. 

  This bush was burning to show that God would not allow His people to be destroyed no matter how difficult their situation may be. Whatever our experiences are and sufferings we face, God will not let it destroy us! We see it from time to time how people go through some major obstacle in their life and they end up not being bitter or complaining but completely relying on God and His righteousness. It amazes us! People in those situations facing them with such faith and courage shows us God's holy ground we are standing on.

  We look at a young man (a teen to be exact) Daniel being taken from his family yet never yielding to the power of the world where he was taken captive. Daniel was kind and humble but never forgot the presence of His God always doing what was pleasing in His sight. God made Him prosper and in all that Daniel never quit. The king saw something very different in Daniel than the rest of the people around. When we read this, do we not see the holy ground on which Daniel was standing?

  We come to our worship of God and what do we find? Entertainment while we are captivated by the voices of people and we loose sight of the holy ground we stand upon. It's not about man! It's all about the God who sustains man yet we orchestrate the worship around us to make sure it sounds just right and the crescendos at the right time to move people. Maybe it's time we get back and read again about that burning bush and see the revealing of God who calls us to Himself without any help from man. That night in the dark recesses of the Roman jail, two men were praying and singing hymns to God surrounded by criminals and stench but here they were, standing on holy ground and others took notice (Acts 16). Take off our shoes as we are standing on holy ground!! 

"A God-Honored Marriage"

  I wished things in marriages were easy. In some ways they are but in others, no. Marriage isn't all sweetness, candlelight dinners and the little sweet-nothings whispered back and forth. At the same time it isn't all tough, leveling things at one another while holding to our side of things refusing to back down in the presence of another. Marriage is work but the work is much smoother if we would center our lives around the Lordship of Christ Jesus. That's easier said than done in the cases of some. We have seen our spiritual leaders display some of the worst examples in marriage and yet they seem to talk endlessly about a Christ-centered marriage. That's complete hypocrisy! 

  Marriage is about a man and a woman loving one another that they don't want to love anyone else in the same way! In that alone is the commitment, the covenant and a willingness to walk before the Lord in this mind-set and devotion. It's that dedication that no matter what comes, you will do anything for the other except leave them. As we hear from the Lord, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you." we too need that same heart of devotion toward the Lord which will translate into our marriages. It's that kind of deep commitment we should have in our faith! With that kind of commitment in the covenant of marriage, adultery should never enter the equation. It doesn't in God's mind. God will never leave us to join Himself to another while forgetting His covenant He made with us through Jesus Christ to Himself. We might 'adulterate' by joining up with some false concept or notion that would violate God but He will never do that to us! 

  While there are disagreements with one another those disagreements aren't the grounds to break the covenant. The intellect can say, "I won't commit adultery as that would be wrong." but if the heart is engaged in faith in the Lord their actions will speak, "Adultery is dishonorable and treacherous." You see, adultery is not simply a sexual sin but it is a base betrayal, the betrayal of the Lord Himself and His covenant. Those disagreements should find us loving more to learn to give to the other while thinking less of yourself. That is growing in faith and love.

  Many years ago while speaking with a couple about their marriage, one spouse said plainly and seriously in the presence of the other, "I will never do anything to dishonor my mate and knowingly want to embarrass them!" You should of seen the other smile! What a commitment. What a love that they would not allow any other into this love meant only for one another. Trustworthiness comes to the front. Nurture the relationship. Keep Jesus at the center knowing He will never betray you. Only then can you work together through any situation you might encounter and the good-times will be greater. 

"Living Holy"

  We are called to holiness. "But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves in all your behavior." (I Pet. 1:15) Behavior that is holy. Many have little insight as to what that means and their lives show it! When we speak of holy many equate that with perfection or sinlessness. That's not holiness. 

  Holiness is linked to our rescue which God did for us through Jesus. Jesus paid out debts and out of His cleansing comes people who are pure and blameless in the sight of God. Jesus sanctified us so that we stand before God holy. We have come from common sinners to children of God. It's not something we accomplished but done for us through the offering of the body of Jesus. Pure, clean and undefiled. What is our response to be? Live holy lives. God calls wives to accept the husband's headship. That's holy living. Husband's are called to be self-giving to their wives as Jesus does the church. That's holy living. When your brother sins, forgive him from your heart. That's holy living. As Christ has received each of us we are to accept one another (Rom. 15:7). That's holy living. We are called to submit to governing authorities no matter who they are (Rom. 13). That's holy living. To avoid sinful situations we select lifestyles that promote the Lord Jesus Christ is holy living. We get all this from being cleansed by the blood of Jesus!

  We are called to pattern our lives after our Lord and Savior. Because we have been redeemed that is the very basis of holy living. Listen carefully to the verse that proceeds the above verse calling us to holy behavior: "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance." (I Pet. 1:14) We were called by God to Himself and that means leaving our former life behind and transform into His life. "Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord." (Heb. 12:14) "The sanctification" is the state the Lord has called us into by His blood and we are to pursue that holiness in our lives. Holiness is not earning you anything before God but is a life because we are holy by Christ before Him! You are holy! Live holy! Christ made us holy! Live holy! Live in ways that honors His life and His ways. Yes, we fall short at times but realizing we are holy before God because of Christ gives us every reason to live as He is. Put away your former life knowing God raised you with Jesus. Pursue holiness as He is holy! 

"OUR god or GOD?"

  People can deceive us but the worst deception of all is 'self-deception.' With all our 'God-talk' and business in so called church matters, our outreaches and programs, we can deceive ourselves into believing all this brings us into the fellowship of God, after all, we are doing His will! Take away our programs and all the busy things we do in the spiritual arena and where would that leave us? Some would believe we are dead spiritually.

  Israel had their golden-calf to raise up as their spiritual work of their hands. Their 'god' was one they created by their efforts and it made them feel good to worship and they could see their 'god'. The God of heaven who delivered them was hidden from them by sight. Man wants things seen!! When they asked for the Almighty's name He said: "I AM WHO I AM." The eternal God will not be controlled or manipulated by any efforts of man. What is all this to us?

  We are much better off today. Religion flows all around, preaching and teaching, religious programs and Christian music. We claim to know our God!!! But is this really true? Maybe we too have created a 'god' in the image of man?

  How many movements among those calling God their Father have arisen? Too many have their political 'golden calf.' Or maybe education can bring us out of the dark and atone for our sins? Maybe our 'god' is one we can explain in terms of sociology and behavioral patterns? These are predictable and under our control! Maybe it is a 'god' that we have made dependent on us so we can worship us at the center and use all this great talent as the draw while making us feel so good, so special. The questions have changed from, "Is it truth?" to "Does it make us feel something?" Listen, I'm trying to get us to think about the frenzy many have created in the name of the Lord calling things spiritual! If all these things are so adequate for us in our thinking and worship how come so many have difficulty coping? Here's a struggle one goes through and the answer: "Read this book!"  or "Take this medication!"

  It seems at times there is little reaching to the God of heaven and earth. Little reading and learning the insight from the God who is Spirit. And yet God is the one who controls it all by stating through Jesus: "At that time Jesus said, 'I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these thing from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for this way was well-pleasing in Your sight. All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him." (Matt. 11:25-27) May the Lord open our eyes and hearts!

  

"What's Your Message?"

  If you were asked, "What is your message to the world?" how would you respond? Let's start in your home. What is the message you send in your home? How terrible things are out in this world? Put emphasis on school or sports above others? What do you speak about or maybe silence is the issue and the tv is all important?

  What message do you send to your co-workers? How lousy your job is, the boss is, your work load and on goes the complaint list? Maybe it's how you like or don't like the political arena? That seems to be a message both on the job and public media at this point. But is that the message you have for those you are around on a daily issue? 

  Let me ask you again, but this time take serious thought about your life. What is your message to those around you on a daily basis? You're sending some type of message.

  Jesus sent a message of hope. Our families need to hear the message of hope and life and it isn't coming from the television or video games. We need to place hope right in front of the eyes of our family knowing that the hope we have in Jesus is the very anchor of our souls. That hope is sure and steadfast (Heb. 6:19). We need the message of hope when the political word is filled with hate and verbal abuse. Those without hope are stuck with only their own personal ingenuity and manipulative efforts which will ultimately fail.  Knowing our hope is in Jesus as He is LORD in heaven and on earth. It's all under His control and those out of control need to be brought under the hope found in Jesus.

  If you are in Christ, don't live your life as someone without God. You are in Christ which means you possess His life and our lives are reaching beyond this temporary. If you are in Christ, exercise your faith not your rights! Your rights were given up to Him because of hope. Live in life. Make your message about hope! Jesus is near.